Predestined marriage?

I was talking to my friend Ben the other day about a very interesting subject. I had told him how my parents have always disagreed in the area of God having “one” person out there for you. My dad is of the opinion that there is one person God has planned for you to marry and that’s it, end of subject. My mom believes that’s impossible, what then do you do if someone remarries, divorces, etc.

I have been rather moot on the subject (until this conversation), though inclined to think it’s more romantic that God has proposed one person for you to marry.

Ben’s perspective is well-thought-out and seems most theologically accurate:

First, this centers around the issue of free will. There is immense glory in free will if we understand it. God seems to give us a choice of who we set our affections on, and He really actually does not know what we will choose. If He did, we would be little robots and not really making any decisions of our own because God already knows what we will choose therefore He really made those decisions.

In a similar way, God chose Israel to be His people. They weren’t perfect, they were going to mess up; He could have chosen a different nation, but He chose them. Since God doesn’t change His mind, His setting of His affections on them will never change either. This is the same way Christ views His Bride. He didn’t have to choose us, but because He has, He lavishes His affections on us and that will never change (Ps. 41:12. 91:14).

The train of thought follows that there really is one person out there for you, but it’s because you’ve chosen them. Because you’ve chosen them, they are therefore “the one.”

However, I must put a stipulation on this theology. I think it only works if you have a right standing with God and are in a place of prayer and clean conscience. It seems to me that it could get rather messy if you get into this as a non-Christian and feel that you can “choose” whomever you want. This point is still not clarified in my head.


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