This is me venting.
A friend of mine came home from IHOP for Thanksgiving this week. Just knowing that when I see her she will have changed immensely got me thinking. She’s been at IHOP for almost a year; I was only there for 6 months. I know that she will not only be fascinated by God, but have an eternal perspective, be rooted in the Word, be wise, entertain deep conversation…I know that I will be jealous to go back to IHOP when I see her.
I am so dissatisfied with the state of RHOP. I know the Lord has so much for us. I know that IHOP considers us one of the main houses of prayer in the country. I know, I know.
But I don’t see. All I see are people who are not rooted in the Word, people who feast on material pleasures because they can’t stand to face that void of God in themselves. I am pointing no fingers. I am one of “them.” I am dull, I am earthly-minded. I am not hungry, neither are they. We are just surviving; we don’t live like royalty; we don’t live with urgency.
I know what it’s like at IHOP. I also know how easy it would be to go, how easy it would be to slide right in with them again. But I know that I know that I am supposed to be at RHOP right now. I cannot take the easy way out. I choose to be content where the Lord has me.
But I am not content to let our spiritual state stay here in this stagnant place. We must move on, we must grasp eternity.
Father, I want to desire You again! I want to live and breathe to honor You. I am so sick of living and fumbling and hoping I am going where You are leading me. I am so sick of only being able to sit before you for an hour before getting antsy. I am so sick of my soul being weighed down by things of life. I want to want only You. I yearn for that sweetness of Your presence which walks with me and whispers a lovesong in my ear. I must have You.